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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29280990">You Should Be Here.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylights/pseuds/Twinklylights'>Twinklylights</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shameless (US)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Husbands, Ian comfort your husband challenge, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mentioned Laura Milkovich, Mentioned Terry Milkovich, Season 11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:42:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29280990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twinklylights/pseuds/Twinklylights</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It still feels weird having his entire family living so close. Day and night, he’s reminded of where he comes from and who he’s supposed to be calling family. It’s more of an annoyance rather than anything else, but every once in a while, Mickey finds himself feeling undeniably sad about the situation.</p><p>There’s an entire house full of Milkoviches next door, and his favorite one isn’t there.</p><p>Or, Ian and Mickey talk about Mickey’s family living next door and how much he misses his mom.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ian Gallagher &amp; Mickey Milkovich, Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>102</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Should Be Here.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I simply cannot stop writing fic. whooops.<br/>First fic of 2021! A little angsty creation for #13 :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">You Should Be Here.</span>
</p><p>The Gallagher house is never silent. Even in the dead of the night, when everyone has fallen asleep there’s always a noise that can be heard. It could be the heater running through the house or it could be the drip of the faucet in the upstairs bathroom. No matter what, there’s always noise.</p><p>And Mickey’s gotten used to that, he’s gotten used to the non-stop chatter of the Gallagher house and finds himself gladly contributing to it. He laughs with Ian in the middle of the night, plays with Franny whenever she asks, he even sings in the shower whenever the mood particularly strikes. The noise of the house has become a new normal for him. He expects to hear commotion and liveliness throughout the day, all signs that everyone’s making it and things are still running.</p><p>As much as he enjoys the constant buzzing of the house, sometimes it becomes too much. An argument between Debbie and Carl escalating to the point that Debbie’s crying in the kitchen and Mickey knows he needs to <em>get out</em>. A smoke break on the front porch sounds ideal until he hears the tell-tale sound of the new neighbors outside.</p><p>The Milkovich house has always been louder than the Gallagher house, and now that they’re next door to each other, the differences are glaringly obvious.</p><p> Terry’s voice seems to carry all the way from the inside of the house directly into Mickey’s ear, a constant reminder that he’s there. Mickey can hear his cousins in the yard. Their obnoxious laughs going on for hours as they sit around doing nothing productive. He can hear the dog barking aggressively. He sounds agitated as if he <em>knows</em> he’s stuck with a bunch of Nazis who aren’t going anywhere in life.</p><p>Mickey looks out the living room window for a second, sighing as he sees his cousin Vince throw what looks like a piece of paper into the fire. He doesn’t know what’s on the paper but the way the rest of the family burst into laughter when it catches ablaze, he knows he doesn’t want to.</p><p>It still feels weird having his entire family living so close. Day and night, he’s reminded of where he comes from and who he’s supposed to be calling family. It’s more of an annoyance rather than anything else, but every once in a while, Mickey finds himself feeling undeniably sad about the situation.</p><p>There’s an entire house full of Milkoviches next door, and his favorite one isn’t there.</p><p>+</p><p>Ian comes down the stairs to Debbie and Carl both in the kitchen, still yelling as Debbie bangs around the cabinets.</p><p>“What the fuck is going on?! It’s the middle of the night!”  He looks at them both with wide eyes, waiting for some sort of explanation but Debbie just rolls her eyes and turns to head towards the stairs in a huff.</p><p>“She’s fucking crazy, that’s what,” Carl says curtly. He gets up and walks toward the door, grabbing his keys from the kitchen table. Ian doesn’t question it any further and finds Mickey sat on the couch in the living room.</p><p>“Hey. Why’d you stay down here? Their arguments are only funny for about five minutes before you want to saw your own ears off.” He laughs and sits himself down next to Mickey.</p><p>“Was gonna go outside for a smoke. Forgot my whole ass family was out there.” He sounds dejected and Ian shakes his head in disbelief.</p><p>“Tell me about it. I left my phone in the van earlier and went outside to get it. The Milkoviches are more creative than I remember. Don’t think I’ve ever been called that many slurs in my life.” He laughs at the absurdity of it all, but Mickey just sighs and runs his hands through his hair, clearly not finding the humor in any of this.</p><p>“Feel like I can’t fucking <em>breathe</em> knowing Terry’s over there.”</p><p>He internally cringes at how much of a little kid he sounds like, being so openly bothered by Terry’s presence but lately it’s been messing with him. He’s constantly thinking about what he could have possibly done wrong in a past life to deserve Terry being the one parent he’s seemingly never getting rid of.</p><p>Ian hears the vulnerability in Mickey’s voice and his heart breaks knowing that there’s nothing he can do to truly make it better. Mickey’s been dealing with Terry for all of his life, and while Ian has seen the brunt of the damage Terry can cause, he knows there’s things Mickey’s been through that he’ll never talk about. Things Ian will never be able to take away.</p><p>Ian sighs, scooting himself closer to Mickey while draping his arm around his shoulders.</p><p>“You know, we haven’t really talked about it. I’m sure Terry moving in next door to us wasn’t on your first year of marriage bingo card.”</p><p>Mickey leans back into his hold and blows out a breath, his face lifted towards the ceiling.</p><p>“Shit fucking sucks. Not really much to talk about, man.”</p><p>Ian shakes his head.</p><p>“Mick, I know you. I know when somethings bothering you and you can’t tell me this isn’t.”</p><p>Mickey’s silent at that. After almost 10 years, there’s really nothing he can hide from Ian; there’s nothing he <em>wants</em> to hide from Ian.</p><p>It takes him a moment before he finally has the courage to speak. He does his best to keep his voice steady and his emotions under control, but he feels his throat tightening up and his eyes stinging, and he just knows he’s gonna cry.</p><p>“I…I miss my mom so fucking much. Can’t get her out of my fucking head,” he says in almost a whisper.</p><p>Ian gapes for a split second, clearly not have expected Mickey to have said that. He sits up straighter and turns toward his husband and quickly takes notice of the single tear that’s fallen against Mickey’s cheek. He takes his thumb and gently wipes it away.</p><p>“Mick...”, he says softly.</p><p> Mickey doesn’t talk about his mom often, but when he does it’s brief. Only a glimpse into this monumental relationship that’s clearly shaped him.</p><p>“Feel like a little kid again looking for her in the crowd of my fucked-up family. She was the only one who fucking <em>liked</em> me.”</p><p>His voice breaks by the end of the sentence and Ian waste no time pulling him into a tight embrace. He knew it was more than <em>nothing</em>.</p><p>Ian’s arms are solid and strong around Mickey and he feels <em>safe</em>. Safe enough to let the tears fall freely without caring that any one of the Gallaghers could walk into the living room and find him so unguarded, <em>so broken</em>.</p><p>Ian pulls away for a second, taking Mickey’s face into his hands. Mickey’s eyes have always been one of his favorite things about the man but seeing them red rimmed and puffy like this crushes him. They’re supposed to be <em>bright</em>. Mickey’s supposed to be happy. <em>Mickey deserves to be happy. </em></p><p> He has to swallow down the lump in his own throat before speaking.</p><p>“Tell me about her, Mick. I always knew you came from someone special.”  </p><p>Mickey presses his palms into his eyes, tries to get a full breath in. Ian’s being so understanding of his sudden emotional outburst and he can’t help but feel bad. He should be comforting Ian, <em>not</em> letting his feelings get the best of him like this.</p><p>Mickey blows out a breath before speaking.</p><p>“She was so fucking nice. Way too nice to my dad. He treated her like shit and she just kept loving him. I remember this one time; it was his birthday and she had us all help make him a cake. Me, her, and Mandy in the kitchen with her making this chocolate cake from scratch. And when he came home, he threw fit. Started yelling at her saying she should have gone out and got him a cake. Anything made by us wasn’t good enough. You know what she did? She went out and she bought him a whole fucking cake. He didn’t even let any of us have any. Ate the whole thing in front of the TV and didn’t even fucking thank her.”</p><p>“Wow.”</p><p>“Yeah man, she was a fucking saint. But she was strong as hell. She stood up to him when she could. Never let him beat on his too bad when she was around.”</p><p>Mickey feels overwhelmed thinking about his childhood and all the memories he has with his mom but it’s comforting knowing he can share them Ian and know it only stays between them.</p><p>“This one-time she came home earlier than he expected, and she caught him with his fist raised at me and she fucking lost it. Started throwing shit at him and telling him she was going to call the cops. She made him sleep outside for the night, let me and Mandy sleep with her in their bed. It was one of the best nights of my life.”</p><p>Ian shifts impossibly closer to Mickey, pulling him flushing against him so he can press a kiss to Mickey’s forehead. He doesn’t miss the opportunity to take in the man’s scent and give them both a moment to <em>breathe</em>.</p><p>“I gotta admit I always wondered about her. Wish I could have thanked her for giving me you.”</p><p>Mickey blushes at that and shakes his head.</p><p>“She would have loved you.” Mickey says sincerely. “I was pretty sure after her, nobody was ever going to really love me, you know? Knew nobody else in the world cared about me as much as she did, but then your freckled ass came into my life.”  </p><p>“Can’t imagine how anyone could know you and not love you Mick.” He leans in and presses a kiss to Mickey’s lips. There are still a few tears falling against his cheeks and Ian takes the time to kiss them away too. He presses their foreheads together, speaking softly in the space between them.</p><p>“You know you can talk about her with me, right? She’s a part of you Mick, I want to know it all.”</p><p>Their eyes meet and Mickey’s lips turn upwards into a shy smile. He feels so loved in the moment and he knows his mom would be proud to know he’s found someone like Ian and has never let him go.</p><p>“This isn’t enough talking about her? I’m literally crying on your couch.” He says, trying to play it cool. Ian sees right through it and only rolls his eyes.</p><p>“I’m serious. Anytime you want to. I’m your husband Mick, your burdens are mine. You don’t have to feel like the entire world is on your shoulders all the time.”</p><p>Mickey hears the genuineness in his words and blows out a shaky breath. He thought he was doing pretty good masking his stress level throughout the past few weeks. He thought Ian wouldn’t notice.</p><p>“We can do that. I, uh got some pictures I had Sandy find back at the house. Maybe we could look at them together or some shit.”</p><p>“Yeah, Mick We should do that. Maybe we could hang some up around here.” He leans and kisses Mickey one more time before speaking again.</p><p>“Why don’t you head upstairs? I’ll see if there’s anything good in the kitchen and bring us up whatever’s not moldy.”</p><p>Mickey laughs at that and turns towards the stairs. He just about reached the top when Ian calls out his name.</p><p>“Mick?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>+</p><p>It takes a while before Ian can bring himself to come up the stairs. He knew something was going on with Mickey, but it didn’t even occur to him that it could have been Laura that had Mickey so in his head lately. A few tears fall from his green eyes as he thinks of Mickey, putting on a brave face for him and the entire Gallagher family, knowing he’s got so much going on inside.</p><p>He knows that Laura would be proud of Mickey. Proud of who he is and what he’s made it through.</p><p>Ian sure is.</p><p>+</p><p>Ian’s surprised to come up to an empty bedroom. He sets a beer down on the night table for Mickey and heads to the bathroom to find the doors closed.</p><p>“Mick.” He knocks twice and jiggles the handle, but the door doesn’t budge.</p><p>He hears some shuffling and the toilet flush before Mickey finally opens the door. He’s not meeting Ian’s eyes and he looks like he’s been crying again but Ian doesn’t say anything. Mickey tries to get past him, but Ian takes a step to the left, trapping him in the bathroom.</p><p>“C’mon man let me go.” He says halfheartedly. He could easily shove past Ian but he’s too drained to put up a fight. Ian’s silent, shakes his head and grabs both of Mickey hands into his.</p><p>He holds them for a moment not saying anything and not giving Mickey the option to protest. He’s just holding Mickey’s hands in his and being <em>still.</em></p><p>“Next time somethings bothering you, you tell me. I don’t care what I’ve got going on. You tell me. <em>I’m your husband</em>” He doesn’t leave any room for Mickey to say anything in protest. Mickey nods his head in agreement.</p><p>Ian takes their joint hands and presses a kiss to the tattooed knuckles in front of them.</p><p>“It’s not always going to be like this you know. <em>We’re going to be okay</em>.” He says softly. A stray tear falls from Mickey’s eye but Ian still has both of his hands in a firm grip so he can’t do anything to wipe it away. He sniffles once more and shakes his head in agreement before he finally speaks.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re going to be okay.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>kudos , comments , questions , concerns and roast are alllll appreciated ;)<br/><a href="https://curiouscat.qa/twinklylightss">send prompts/request!!!</a><br/><a href="https://twitter.com/passionatemick">Follow me on twitter for tweets about Mick!!!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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